<sub>Vina, to whom even strangers would come, following her star, hoping to receive redemption from her voice, her large, damp eyes, her touch. How was it that so explosive, even amoral, a woman came to be seen as an emblem, an ideal, by more than half the population of the world? Because she was no angel, let me tell you that, but try saying so to Don Angel. Maybe it's just as well she was not born a Christian, or they'd have tried to make her a saint. Our Lady of the Stadiums, our arena madonna, baring her scars to the masses like Alexander the Great rousing his soldiers for war; our plastered Unvirgin, bleeding red tears from her eyes and hot music from her throat. As we retreat from religion, our ancient opiate, there are bound to be withdrawal symptoms, there will be many side effects of this Apsaran variety. The habit of worship is not easily broken. In the museums, the rooms with the icons are crowded.We always did prefer our iconic figures injured, stuck full of arrows or crucified upside down; we need them flayed and naked, we want to watch their beauty crumble slowly and to observe their narcissistic grief. Not in spite of their faults but for their faults we adore them, worshipping their weaknesses, their pettinesses, their bad marriages, their substance abuse, their spite. Seeing ourselves in Vina's mirror, and forgiving her, we also forgave ourselves. She redeemed us by her sins.


* * * * *


Vina, a la que venían hasta los extraños, siguiendo su estrella, esperando ser redimidos por su voz, por sus ojos grandes y húmedos, por su contacto. ¿Cómo era posible que una mujer tan explosiva, incluso amoral, pudiera ser considerada un emblema, un ideal, por más de la mitad de la población del mundo? Porque no era un ángel, dejadme que os lo diga, pero intentad decírselo a Don Angel. Tal vez sea una suerte que no naciera cristiana ni trataran de hacer de ella una santa. Nuestra Señora de los Estadios, nuestra virgen del ruedo, mostrando sus cicatrices a las masas como Alejandro Magno enardeciendo a los soldados para la guerra; nuestra Antivirgen borracha, sangrando lágrimas rojas por los ojos y música ardiente por la garganta. A medida que dejamos la religión, nuestro antiguo opiáceo, se producen síntomas de abstinencia, muchos efectos secundarios del género apsárico. El hábito de adorar no se pierde fácilmente. En los museos, las salas de íconos están abarrotadas. Siempre preferimos nuestras figuras icónicas lastimadas, acribilladas de flechas o crucificadas cabeza abajo; las necesitamos despellejadas y desnudas, queremos ver cómo su belleza se desmorona lentamente y observar su dolor narcisista. No las adoramos a pesar de sus defectos sino por sus defectos, venerando sus debilidades, su mezquindad, sus matrimonios fracasados, su uso indebido de sustancias, su rencor. Mirándonos en el espejo de Vina, y perdonándola, nos perdonábamos también a nosotros mismos. Ella nos redimía de nuestros pecados.


The ground beneath her feet - [ Salman Rushdie ]



Hasselblad 501 C
Carl Zeiss Planar CF 2.8/80 T*
Kodak Portra 400 NC [ to b&w with Lightroom ]
Sekonic 758 D



October - 2008


© Jordi Esteban 2008



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